I knock and I knock–can I come inside? I should become the ultradiscreet doctor; they keep asking me to style heal them cause I keep killin them. Bring out the white Maison Margiela employee smocks. I’ll tell you what it takes to be number 2 cause I’m not saying I’m the best–but I’m the best…

Gen·tri·fi·ca·tion (jěn’trə-fĭ-kā’shən)
n. The restoration and upgrading of deteriorated urban property by middle-class or affluent people.

Replace the “fi” with “PHI” and isn’t this great: Tuxedo’s and jet ski’s–yacht docked not far away. A lady don’t lift things, open doors, stand alone, not when she listen to me babe. Become a #trendingtopic; your lil brother love me he say “Phifer got some fresh clothes” and your grandmother love me cause I always dress in dress clothes. I can switch your dress code—change your life like presto! Isn’t that what you want?

But we ain’t about to type our whole lives on a blog though, cause when we tell it you’ll be like “that explains everything“. Just ask Sham; the black Edie Sedgwick–Andy was like “it’s all yours“.

So you ask what the Gentri-PHI-cation Project is? It’s making it across town with a little gas. Using what you already have to get what you want. It’s like bypassing the safari to get to Africa. Fortunately for me I can’t bottle up a Marquis Phifer to sell like a fragrance, but I can give you those little free samples and travel bags. I know when we first met in ‘07 you wanted to keep your swag so you was holding back, but after I landed in your homes, work cubicles, and classrooms your questions I will finally answer; learn how to flip your money three ways, ride big on the freeway and even how to maintain your caesar deep waves–skin, hair–all face everything. Don’t be mistaken, even photoshop couldn’t change me, cause I never gave a fidduuck, abiddout the widday. Im not trying to make you perfect but at least when you take a picture you could give face ( I’m so hard; so hard, so hard, so hard ). I don’t do rock–and all of  us are not meant to be stars but I can teach you how to be real; you can say who you are–everybody wants to be a Doctor at the bar.

Send your questions to: phication@lateboots.com